THE HEARTBREAK OF THE DIAERESIS
or, the Dots Are Over the Wrong Letter at the Pentagoet  
   
 There is something amiss chez Pentagoet

 (We assume of course you do not know it).

 Allow us to present our humble thesis:

 You need to move your diaeresis.

For as every Frenchman would surely know,

Those dots don't sit correctly over the "o" -

(We would hate for some poor kraut

To read them thus as an umlaut.)
No, the diaeresis should be over the "e,"

Just like Noel in gay Paree;

But don't change to appease us

Your exceedingly erroneous diaeresis.

Rather, say, "It simply does not please us

 to display linguistic feces."



                                            jec
                                        West Penobscot, 1999